Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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