Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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