you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
