She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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