We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
