life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
