Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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