If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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