She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
