And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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