You really coming over, don't trick.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
