my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
