Can Purell be used as lube?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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