when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
