we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
