I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
