i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
