hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I need to stop coming to work sober
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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