Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
