the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
