He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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