But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
