my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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