OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
