Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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