oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
