it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
