Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
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Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
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It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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