I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
