If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
All I want is dick and wine.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
