You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
