am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
