But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i will never coherently bang her
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
