There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
