i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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