As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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