i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
