Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
