the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he fucked my hip out of place.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So vagazzling was a success
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
