Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

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  (610): she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot. http://tfl.nu/93sx
  Replies (26) Good night (7157) Bad night (1415)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.

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  (902): Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/j9u3
  Replies (35) Good night (1197) Bad night (12879)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.

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  (309): And whoever invented the condom should be put to death. http://tfl.nu/pkgn
  Replies (81) Good night (1336) Bad night (10237)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.

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  (248): She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot. http://tfl.nu/w0w1
  Replies (37) Good night (5221) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.

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  (305): We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had. http://tfl.nu/tauu
  Replies (26) Good night (5786) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"

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  (228): thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God" http://tfl.nu/z3qu
  Replies (3) Good night (5720) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.

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  (617): The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library. http://tfl.nu/8dpw
  Replies (2) Good night (1248) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch

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  (309): I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch http://tfl.nu/5u8w
  Replies (7) Good night (681) Bad night (1312)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.

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  (412): Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab. http://tfl.nu/yqci
  Replies (5) Good night (1362) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.

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  (516): My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit. http://tfl.nu/2g7d
  Replies (9) Good night (1058) Bad night (1900)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.

  (209): View more from California

  Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.

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  (209): I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now. (209): Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4. http://tfl.nu/hx3p
  Replies (12) Good night (2371) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.

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  (304): Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd. http://tfl.nu/1o4y
  Replies (19) Good night (2740) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.

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  (317): Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South. http://tfl.nu/tqtt
  Replies (1) Good night (315) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.

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  (512): It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should. http://tfl.nu/c9et
  Replies (1) Good night (912) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.

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  (646): He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body. http://tfl.nu/dbfa
  Replies (2) Good night (826) Bad night (325)

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