Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.