Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess