Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.

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  (508): i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker. http://tfl.nu/03y7
  Replies (5) Good night (688) Bad night (808)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.

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  (541): You don't need id to drink rum in an alley. http://tfl.nu/aqpy
  Replies (17) Good night (3650) Bad night (578)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands

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  (732): A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands http://tfl.nu/nukb
  Replies (37) Good night (861) Bad night (5669)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .

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  (317): I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket . http://tfl.nu/mvi5
  Replies (59) Good night (6687) Bad night (719)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.

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  (413): My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers. http://tfl.nu/7b3u
  Replies (46) Good night (8745) Bad night (1624)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.

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  (318): my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes. http://tfl.nu/jzo6
  Replies (6) Good night (4419) Bad night (1066)
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  (510): View more from California

  Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.

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  (510): Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day. http://tfl.nu/kbev
  Replies (7) Good night (1392) Bad night (2614)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.

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  (817): Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night. http://tfl.nu/bkam
  Replies (7) Good night (2059) Bad night (916)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.

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  (208): booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday. http://tfl.nu/jn9w
  Replies (4) Good night (2215) Bad night (628)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.

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  (972): I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in. http://tfl.nu/6wlf
  Replies (16) Good night (968) Bad night (1847)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.

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  (651): Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid. http://tfl.nu/33yz
  Replies (4) Good night (1290) Bad night (421)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family

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  (413): Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker" (1-413): I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family http://tfl.nu/b85j
  Replies (7) Good night (2158) Bad night (447)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  Do you have any forwarding contact info?

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  (804): Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface? (1-804): Do you have any forwarding contact info? http://tfl.nu/ibaz
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (240)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.

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  (616): sex on the stairs. not our finest idea. http://tfl.nu/6x8t
  Replies (6) Good night (580) Bad night (326)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.

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  (479): Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals. http://tfl.nu/0t02
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (208)

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