Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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