Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
how does that bad decision feel?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
