We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
