We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
