So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
