Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
