I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
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This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
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PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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