that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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