I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
