Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
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Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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