please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
