So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
