North Korea, Best Korea!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
