He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
