This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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