Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
