If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
