she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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